Star Wars Lego advent calendar, days — um, a lot

Okay, so here’s what happened. I had a final project due last Thursday, so I couldn’t justify playing with Legos while I was trying to write up my paper. Then on Friday I went home for the Christmas break, and on Saturday I took a bunch of Legos out and put them together, and then I totally failed to have any motivation to write them up. So, finally I decided that I’m just going to post a bunch of pictures and not try to be super funny about all of them. I will probably break up days 11-20 into about two posts so that you aren’t faced with a massive wall of text and pictures.

Look how perfectly the advent calendar box fit in my suitcase! :D

Day 11 is a battle-droid that was kinda difficult to put together. He came with an extra set of arms, and also a blaster rifle! He has a hard time standing up straight. I finally got him to balance while holding his blaster rifle and a tire iron. Danger is his middle name.

Day 12: A snowspeeder!

They did a killer job with this one. In particular, they put a black grate on the rear to look like the heatsink or whatever is on the rear of the original snowspeeder.

Day 13: Not exactly R2-D2, because he’s black! (My niece: “Don’t be racist.”) I put a laser hat on him. Also, Day 14: A mouse droid! My mom decided it is the not-exactly-R2-D2′s pet dog. We decided he should have a laser hat too.

Also I have included a picture of the original mouse droids from actual Star Wars.

Day 15: A LAAT\i gunship! It’s even better if you put someone’s head on it!

There. Now you have days 11 through 15. In a few moments, 16 through 20!

 

Star Wars Lego advent calendar, day 10

Guys, I had way too much fun taking pictures for this post. :D

Today’s Lego is another one of the iconic flying vehicles of the original Star Wars series!

If you know what it is, award yourself 7 points. If you don’t know what it is, watch this video:

Just kidding – Youtube does not have a video of the original quote that is not dubbed in French. Instead, read this quote: “I used to bullseye womp-rats in my T-16 back home. They’re not much bigger than two meters.”

Yay, it’s a womp rat T-16! [EDIT: As mcnutcase and imwacco have noted below, it's pretty clear that this is a Lambda-class shuttle instead. I bow to their superior nerdery. :D ] Let’s make Wedge put it together again with his trusty wrench!

Wedge, are you sure you should be lifting something that heavy with one hand?? “Mehhhh, it’s fiiiiine. I got this.”

Moments later, TRAGEDY STRIKES:

“AAAGHGGHGHG MY HAND (and also my forearm)!!” (This actually happened, it wasn’t engineered, I promise, and it made me laugh a lot.)

While Wedge gets patched up, Chewbacca will put things together. With a hammer. Because he don’t use no sissy wrench. Also, he can lift much larger things than Wedge can without catastrophic forearm detachment.

Here it is, all put together! Also, note that Wedge is so hard-core that he bandaged his own forearm back on. With a wrench. NBD. Ain’t nobody tellin’ Wedge to cut the chatter now, are they.

Here’s all the flying vehicles so far lined up together:

And finally, the idea for this picture made me laugh pretty hard, and the picture itself is making me laugh even harder.

Tune in tomorrow for more head-switching, emergency surgery, and hitting things with hammers!

Star Wars Lego Advent Calendar, day 9

Okay, so I actually took these pictures this morning, before I even left my house, intending to write this post before lunch, but then that didn’t happen because I was transcribing interviews I conducted for my term project that’s due next Thursday, and then I went to a colloquium, and then I launched a counter-assault against the dirty dishes’ advance position in my sink, and then I went to a Christmas party. But now I’m here and writing a post, which hopefully makes someone happy, if only just me.

Also, there is a helicopter that is circling in obnoxious proximity to my apartment complex. I hope that they are not looking for the bodies that I may or may not have disposed of in the green space adjacent to our parking lot. Ooh, it just flew away, which is probably a good sign.

Now that I’ve gotten my long-form Facebook status updates out of my system, here’s today’s Lego surprise!

Iiiiiiiiiit’s…

… an X-wing!!

I’m way excited about this because the three most iconic starships of the original series are, in some order, the X-wing, the Millenium Falcon, and the TIE fighter. (That was potentially the nerdiest sentence I have so far written on this blog, and the best part is, I’m more or less serious.) I will fight anyone who disagrees, because they are objectively and perhaps even morally wrong.

Anyway, who else would I pick to build the X-wing besides X-wing pilot extraordinaire, Wedge Antilles? Now that he has his trusty, um, wrench, he’ll have this thing together in no time! He does have his work cut out for him:

Good work, Wedge; looks like the wings section is coming along nicely. Why don’t you put together the fuselage next?

Oh goodness. Wrong, Wedge; very, very wrong.

Looks nice when it’s all put together! Why don’t you take it for a spin? What’s that? It’s way too small? That’s what she saiThis calendar does seem to have a serious problem with scale. Also, with extra parts – unless these are the power converters you were going to take to Toshi Station.

Star Wars Lego Advent Calendar, day 8

Today’s Lego is pretty cool too. Check it out:

This guy could be any one of the X-wing pilots, but I’ma go ahead and say that he’s Wedge Antilles, because Wedge Antilles is the most badass of all the X-wing pilots not named Luke Skywalker, and this is clearly not Luke Skywalker. Also, because his call-sign is Red 2, and you know how cool that makes him:

The only thing that could possibly lead to a better Youtube video is if I get an Admiral Ackbar. If I get an Admiral Ackbar, I’ma be so excited. :D

Here is the obligatory helmet/hair-switching picture:

Wedge looks really happy with his wrench; he would probably be even happier with an X-wing to fly. Until the Lego calendar delivers such, he’ll have to be content with a really tiny Slave I:

I was up until 2 this morning writing that stupid essay, and I am fading rapidly. Accordingly, I’m going to finish writing this post and go to bed. Another Lego adventure awaits us all tomorrow!

Star Wars Lego Advent Calendar, day 7

My essay is done! Woo! Now I just need to finish (i.e., start) my term project that’s due next Thursday. But instead of working on that, I’ma write two blog posts for you while watching the Mentalist. Isn’t procrastination great?

Here’s the Lego for Dec. 7!

a) Woo, it’s Chewbacca’s crossbow!

b) Woo, it’s… a bucket? With a wrench and a hammer?

Well, let’s give some people some stuff and start playing with them! Look how much more menacing Chewbacca looks when he is properly armed!

I decided that he could have the wrench too.

But then I was like, hey, hammer; hey, vaguely semicircular other implement…

… hey, a subtle George Lucas allusion to a totalitarian leader! (Okay, fine, I know the Japanese weren’t Communist. I still think it’s funny.)

But now that the squid-Communist threat has reared its betentacled head, Chewbacca will stop at nothing to protect truth, justice, and the Rebellion way!

You should note that Calamari-san is holding up his hammer and sickle in the universal sign for “Oh noes!”.

After I took this picture, I noticed something that made me laugh, so I took this other picture:

Look at the poor neglected barrel, off on its own. The barrel just isn’t as cool as a Chewbacca with a crossbow. I’m sorry, barrel. Maybe we will find a way to make you cool too.

Star Wars Lego Advent Calendar, day 6

This post is going to be shorter and probably less amusing than most of my posts. It’s finals week and I really shouldn’t be spending a ton of time screwing around on the internet, despite the fact that I’m spending a ton of time screwing around on the internet. So, let’s get down to brass tacks.

I chortled with glee when I ripped open today’s tab. That’s right, chortled. There’s really no other way to describe the noise I produced. Here’s why:

Oops, no, sorry, wrong picture.

Yes, it’s Chewbacca! Actually, let me rephrase that: HELL yes, it’s Chewbacca! I will admit to a momentary and fleeting sense of disappointment that he did not have a crossbow like he does in the picture on the front of the box, but that’s okay, because he’s going to wrest the tire iron from Squidward by main force and unintelligible (except perhaps to Han Solo) grunting:

“AAAAHWRRWGWGGGRRGRG!!*” (* “Give me the tire iron or I will pulverize your cartilaginous face, and you can bet I’ll do it in less than twelve parsecs.” (The Wookiee grunting language is surprisingly economical. It’s all in the tone, you see.))

You can imagine that I’ve stuck him on several vehicles and ridden him around on them while making little zooming noises, but I’m not going to post pictures of this because finals feed on my tears. I will however include this picture of what happens when you forget the body Lego:

Heh heh :D

Star Wars Lego Advent Calendar, day 5

So I just looked at my blog stats. I have 193 views today. This is a much larger number than any other number of views I have ever had. This is fun! Thanks for reading!

Today’s Lego is pretty awesome:

Can you tell what it is? I knew that I recognized it, and that it was some sort of flying thing, but I couldn’t remember what it was called, so I googled and googled until my googler was sore.

There’s a list on Wookieepedia (such a great name) of like every flying vehicle in Star Wars ever, including all the books and comics and non-canon stuff. I clicked through a bunch of those but my attention span didn’t last particularly long, so I went back to google. The google term with which I finally struck paydirt was “brown and green star wars vehicle.” That got me to this picture:

It’s totally Boba Fett’s ship! I’m stoked about this. And now that I know that it’s Boba Fett’s ship, I can put it into its correct flying orientation:

This is a totally cool Lego. The fins swivel and everything! I think it may have to turn into an ornament for my ghetto Christmas tree.

Aw, isn’t my tree awesome? You can’t tell in this picture but I made a garland out of dental floss and sea shells.

So here’s a thing, though. The guys who designed the Legos clearly didn’t care a whit for scale. I mean, this is almost exactly the same size as Mr. Squidface:

I’ma exercise my incredible Photoshop (okay, GIMP) skills and stick the scaled-up Squidward in a picture of the real Slave I so you can see just how big he’d be:

Let’s slap some numbers on this thing. Wookieepedia says that the Slave I is 21.5 meters long – that’s 70 feet! Calamari-san is huge! This is a scale usually reserved for, y’know, other vaguely Japanese things…

Star Wars Lego Advent Calendar, day 4

This advent calendar is filling me with anticipation. There’s something viscerally awesome about ripping out a little cardboard door and getting Legos, especially when you don’t know exactly what sort of Legos are going to be behind that little cardboard door.

It could be Obi-Wan Kenobi with a lightsaber! (I kinda doubt it because I bet they’d have to pay good money to Alec Guinness’s estate to use his likeness, even if it was just Lego.)

It could be the Santa-costumèd Yoda picturèd on the front of the box! (I kinda doubt that too because they’ll probably save him for last. It would only make sense for Santa to come on actual December 25.)

It could be a naked shower Chewbacca! a) You’re welcome for that mental image! b) What did you think was going to be behind that link before you clicked on it? Did you still click on it anyway? c) How would you tell if Chewbacca was naked in the first place? d) I’m moving on before this paragraph goes in even more disturbing directions.

It could be any of those things, but today, it’s not. It’s this:

I’m not sure what this is either. I’m starting to feel like I’m a bad Star Wars geek. Like, I should totally know all this stuff, but I totally don’t. I’m pretty sure 100% of the things so far have been from the not-original trilogy, i.e., the ones that weren’t as awesome as the original ones. I have a vague memory of this thing being in the big fight with all the battle droids, as some sort of communication-relaying thing? It was really big, I think? I don’t know. I’m going to stop wondering what it is and just put it together.

Here it is completed. Even if it is really a communications relay thing, I’m going to pretend that the thing on top shoots lasers. Pew pew! Take that, um, whatever it is we’re fighting! (I don’t know what we’re fighting yet because it hasn’t been in the calendar yet.)

Check this out, though: spare parts!! That means Mr. Sushi gets more things to hold and look pissed about! Also, new hats!

“I am so mad I will shank you with this tire iron. And then shoot lasers from my laser hat. The lasers are fueled by my simmering rage.”

Also, you know that I absolutely had to transplant Squidward’s head on this thing and turn him into angry squid Dragoon Fenix:

“Nach nagalas!”

Just for fun, and because I just noticed I could do this, here’s a picture of Calamari-san riding into battle on the claw thing from yesterday:

Star Wars Lego Advent Calendar, day 3

Welcome back to Day 3 of Star Wars Legos! Today I am hoping for:

a) something to put Squidward’s head on;

b) something to occupy Squidward’s empty hands; or

c) both!

Well, it must just be my lucky day, because I totally got –

– a, uh … well, I really have no idea what the hell this is supposed to be. But, maybe it will have extra bits for Calamari-san to hold. Those black claw things look promising.

Yep, so, I still have no idea what this is supposed to be. Maybe it is supposed to be one of them rolly shooty droids, but there is no characteristic curvy head thing, and also no blasters. Maybe it is the bottom half of a rolly shooty droid? Oh well, let’s look on the bright side: extra black claw thing for Squidhead!

“Feel the wrath of my poky claw and despaaaaair! <mouth keeps moving>”

Also, it looks like this would be a great time for Squidward’s first head transplantation:

The thing that amuses me so much about Calamari-san is how angry he always looks. “My head is on a clawed walker-thing that looks like it could scale sheer rock faces or disembowel a Tauntaun. I hate everything.” Or, “dammit, I got a giant claw-dagger weapon instead of the blaster I asked for for Christmas.”

Star Wars Lego Advent Calendar, day 2

Okay, here comes day 2 of Star Wars Legos! I’m not going to post the put-it-together instructions because it will give it away even more than what I’m about to do, which is to post a picture of the pieces all disassembled:

That’s right, it’s that squidy Trade Federation guy who talks with his lips slightly out of sync! Some googling reveals that his name is Nute Gunray, which in fine Lucasian style is a clever and super-subtle reference to some other dude who is remembered for his economic contributions. Honestly, if these references were any more subtle, I don’t think people would notice them at ALL!

Here’s what he looks like put together, and riding on the whatever it is thing from yesterday. Check out his awesome hair piece.

It’s also noteworthy that he looks way more ominous if you turn off the camera flash and backlight him a little:

Can you imagine how badass he would look if I had a fog machine??

Mr. Gunray and I are going to have some fun times together. I need a better name for him than Gunray, though.  Maybe I will call him Squidface, or Calamari-san. Whatever he ends up being called, I’m excited for the future possibilities of his as-yet-unoccupied hands, and of his oh-so-removable head. I’ma put his head on all KINDS of stuff.